Giving Thanks: & a Resolution for life, ‘not just for Christmas’

I had all kinds of grand ideas for my final blog before Christmas 2013, but in the end I decided to go with something very simple.

There are times in my life, or there have been, when I have felt the weight of the world. I’m sure you have too.

Some of those times were about how burdensome and busy my life was, how I was ‘so busy making a living, that I forgot to make a life’. I mostly got through those times with the support of friends and family, with the passing of time, and with the ending of situations that just ran their course. Some of those burdensome times were about being mired in deep grief, at the loss of friends, family, or the ending of a time because someone else needed to move on with their life. Sometimes life was just about getting through difficult times; through illness, injury, my children leaving home, the deaths of close family members and close friends. I did also practise Yoga and meditation through those most difficult years, and found the practice helpful in focussing my mind on the present moment.

Just now, although my life is still incredibly busy, I somehow feel blessed. I wake up feeling thankful, for the morning, for my family, for my work, for living in this wonderful country. Like most of us, that doesn’t mean I don’t have a little whinge about things; about ‘how Bloomin’ HOT the weather is!’: or how my house needs a Complete Makeover (and not the 60 minute kind), about the various aches & pains I have, the amount of work I have to get through, and the VAST number of pills & potions I swallow every-single-day!

I’m not the only person in the world to feel this way. It’s called Acceptance. Read this lovely story by someone diagnosed with diabetes at age 7.

I have also met either in person or online an incredible number of people who have faced difficulty and adversity and then gone on to do amazing, wonderful things in their lives. Some are Adventurous, like Rob who crossed Siberia, and some are very Giving. One of the things that makes me Thankful is that I still have my mother. She will be 91 in January. She lives in a Nursing Home. She suffers from various physical disabilities and ailments, and she lives with increasing dementia. But she still knows me. She still welcomes me with love when I visit. She still tells me I am a ‘good looking woman’, ‘beautiful’, and thanks me for visiting. She mostly spends her days lying on her bed, fully dressed, and yet tells me that she is ‘happy’, or ‘as happy as can be expected’. She is grateful for the smallest of attentions. She is not trying to influence or manipulate anyone or any situations. She just is.

One of the things that I have learned through all my experiences in life is to allow myself to feel all the emotions that come my way. I mourn deeply when I suffer loss. I sob and wail at the deepest losses. I believe in letting the grief out. It is one of the teachings of Narrative Therapy. I laugh like a drain over absolutely silly things with my 3 young grandchildren (aged 3, 5 & 5). I hug and kiss my 14 year old grandson when I say hello and goodbye, and he lets me. My 20 year old grandson hugs & kisses me without prompting. Joy is an emotion that lifts the heart, and it can best be experienced in small things, and best be appreciated after experiencing the most difficult of emotions. I have felt (and I’m sure will feel again) guilt, shame, remorse; anger, fear, regret.

On a tweetchat recently we were asked about (ho hum) New Year’s Resolutions. It’s not original, but this is what popped out:

“I have a permanent resolution. More like a mantra:

Be here now. Be mindful:yesterday is gone, tomorrow may not come. All we have is today.”

We have discussed this idea about ‘Mindfulness’ in several places on the website. You can use the little magnifying symbol in the top RH corner to search, you will find at least 17 references. One of them is Helen Edwards’ blog from October 23rd.

Check it out!

So today, a 43 degree day, 8.32 pm and writing my Blog, just before Christmas 2013, I am Thankful. That is what my Mindfulness practice is teaching me. May it be your lesson too, and may you feel that emotion deeply.

Helen Wilde

Helen is a long term Senior Counsellor with Diabetes Counselling Online, Teacher, Mother of a Type 1 diabetic for 34 years and a type 2 diabetic herself for 12 years.

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